MITSFS meeting called to order, 1705 SST, Jade Wang, President and Skinner, presiding. Ed Keyes is the wireless Onseck.
Motion: Correct the text about Bluebellcomm to ``lazy and shiftless''. Passes 7-0-1+Spehn. [John] ``Hey, you forgot my foot!''
Motion: Declare John's shoe a philosophical conundrum. Passes 3-0-0+Spehn.
Motion: Commend the Onseck for being translation-invariant. Passes 4-philosophical conundrum-1+Spehn. A dissonant bing. [Jamie] ``If you grip it too hard, it makes funny noises.''
Mobcomm: Please give me $724.47.
Pseudo-Picniccomm: We have a letter from Hal Clement, which is then read. He has a son named George who is a bird expert. He's got a real busy schedule at cons, too. [Malcolm] ``All those cons and only one pro.'' Discussion of Asimov's status about picnics.
Pseudo-Picniccomm: We'll probably go with Friday, May 11 for elections and have the picnic on Saturday. This is a break from recent tradition of having the picnic on Sunday, but in fact Saturday is an even older tradition.
Pseudo-Plantcomm: (silently hefts a battery)
Mobcomm: We got a bunch of weird books. How can get get 32,768 into the report?
Jade tries to pry off the tabletop with the gavel. Another pun from Malcolm, mercifully unheard by the Onseck.
Pseudo-Rosfap: The Rosfap pile is nine inches deep.
John brings out a 70% isopropyl alcohol bottle that has randomly appeared on the Skinner shelf. It has a spray nozzle, too. Jade suggests getting a match... John advises people that sniffing a spray of isopropyl alcohol is not a good idea. [Jade] ``It's isopropyl alcohol... and so much more!'' [John] ``I should sniff a bunch of water to clear that out.''
Motion: Add ``Bluebellcomm is still lame'' to the ALGOL. John tries to second his own motion.
Motion: Declare John an Albanian philosophical conundrum, or A.P.C. [John] ``I don't want to be a P.C.!''
We are ordering shelf replacements for our bent ones.
An old friend of Jade's is visiting from CalTech. [John] ``Is she cute, then?'' [Jade] ``She's 21.'' [Jamie] ``That's legal.'' It is revealed that the friend is actually a Mech-E. Coming to a MITSFS meeting will be a ``unique experience to change her life'', according to Malcolm.
[Jamie] ``You have experienced meeting me. You haven't experienced me.'' A vicarious Telzey if you date a friend of the Skinner?
[Jade] ``Maybe we should have young business.''
We should get another rainbow-colored Slinky. John washes the Slinky with our alcohol sprayer.
Motion: Condemn John for spraying in the library. Passes 7-philosophical conundrum-0+Spehn.
Motion: To have the young people do no more rain dances until the end of the semester. (Boston had about 24 hours of rain recently.) Not seconded. [John] ``I only prayed for two inches of rain.'' [Jamie] ``Yeah, but so did everyone else!''
Jade found a cool survivalist guide, with all sorts of cool things you might have to know how to do, like jump out of a moving car. And how to get out of quicksand... by carrying a stout pole with you. [Jamie] ``Okay, so once we sneak out of the giant wooden badger, what then?''
In a few hours, Jamie and others will go to pick up a donation from an MIT professor whose eyesight is failing.
Motion: Note in the minutes that you can't take it with you. Passes 3-2-philosophical conundrum+Spehn.
Motion: Take it with us! Passes 5-0-2+Spehn.
Motion: Have a matrix vote. Not seconded.
We got a piece of mail from the Quwait embassy, which should have gone to the upstairs reading room. Some magazine in some Arabic language. It is noted that Arabs do not actually use Arabic numerals...
Most campus rapes start in the reading room. A sign ``Most campus rapes start here'' with a picture of a beer, in actuality.
A newspaper from Singapore: ``Government acts to reduce shortage of lawyers''.
In the future someone will give John $724.47.
Motion: Ask the new person their name and then say ``hi'' in an embarrassing fashion. Passes 8-0-2+Spehn. She's Debbie. ``Hi, Debbie...'' She has degrees from the University of Toronto, which evidently has a large speculative fiction collection, the Merril collection. Is it bigger/better than ours?
In the future, we will have dinner.
Motion: Have a banana for dinner. Not seconded.
Motion: Miller motion. Fails 0-3-2+Spehn. [Jamie] ``If it doesn't fail, the universe explodes.''
Motion: Second Miller motion. Passes some-less-0+Spehn.
Meeting adjourned, 1730 SST.