MIT Science Fiction Society

84 Massachusetts Avenue

Cambridge, MA 02139

MITSFS Meeting Minutes

Friday, April 6, 2001

MITSFS meeting called to order, 1715 SST, Jade Wang, President and Skinner, presiding. Ed Keyes is the Debianized Onseck.

Minutes read. The Skinner kneecaps herself with the gavel during the reading.

Motion: Read last week's minutes next week, or maybe just that last motion over and over. Passes 5-0-4+Spehn. [Jade] ``Putting your foot on top of the table doesn't count!''

Motion: [Malcolm] ``Move to table the foot.'' Not seconded.


Committee Reports

Mobcomm is brought to you this week by the number 25. We can blame jhawk for ruining the numerical progression.

Pseudo-Jourcomm: Although she denies it, Yevgeniya would be happy to get book reviews in the next week or two.

There is some confusion about Amazon sending us review books. Who ordered it? Probably Bill... no... maybe Amazon just likes us. [Jamie] ``That's why they aren't making any money.''

Motion: Thank the Easter Book Bunny for the new book. Not seconded.

Motion: Come up with a good meaning for the phrase ``thank the bunny''. Passes 12-0-1+Spehn. ``Nice sustain.''

Jamie reads a blurb about rednecks and trailer parks. Characters so real you can smell them... We don't want any multimedia novels. No smell, taste, vertigo, etc.

Motion: Move to approve tasteless novels. Not seconded.

Motion: Make the Skinner happy by tasting her in the library. Fails by Skinnerial decree.

Pseudo-Hasslecomm: Stuff was done, yay.

Pseudo-Bluebellcomm: Bluebellcomm is lazy, shiftless, incompetent, and so forth.

Motion: Commend Bluebellcomm for being nasty, brutish, and short. Passes 9-0-1+Spehn.

Motion: Use Andrew as the new standard for height, Jade for niceness, and Ed for civilized (that is, if you're shorter than Andrew, meaner than Jade, and less civilized than Ed, you're ``nasty, brutish, and short'') (amendment) and have them plated with iridium. Passes 9-0-2+Spehn.

[Jamie] ``You know the penalty for voting twice...''


New Business

The Media In Transition series has apparently asked Arisia for money, which is a bit odd.

It's Campus Preview Weekend. Someone should review the campus for the TZ. Does MIT have more or less corridor than the Kremlin, or was that ever actually settled? Do catacombs count? MIT versus the Vatican versus Mammoth Cave.

John is amazed at MIT-brand bottled water. ``Distilled drinking water, absolutely the purest, freshest, best-tasting water you'll ever drink.'' It is probably better than John's brown sink water. Is rust brown or orange-colored?

[Jade] ``Did you guys see The Cheez-Whiz People?'' Everyone thinks she is hallucinating, and further explanations only reinforce this conclusion.

Minicult: According to Skunk Works, Lockheed couldn't get a contract for the stealth fighter because their predictions for the stealth capabilities were too good. The model test failed because the radar was reading the pole instead of the plane model on top of it. They needed to make a stealth pole to proceed.

[Jamie] ``What do they use on the plane?'' ``Cheez-Whiz.'' It's mostly geometry, actually. The stealth tech came from a paper that wasn't secret, just amazingly hard to read.

[John] ``To bring this back to the subject of spiders...'' Bats use radar, of course. They kept bouncing off the stealth planes.

Motion: Send John as an ambassador to The Cheez-Whiz People to talk to them about spiders. Chickens 4-1-4+Spehn.

Someone sent us a $3.50 check wrapped in a piece of paper labeled ``Stabilization of the Post-War Economy''. The LHE can finally close our World War II books.


Old Business

Negotiations are in progress with the local shelving company. We hope they don't go out of business in the mean time. Evidently once before a company burned down while we were in the process of buying stuff from them.

Discussion of magazines and the Skinner shelf.

John cleaned out the right-hand side of the keyholder desk, disposing of tons of loose staples, etc. It's now organized, yay. Susan is credited with dealing the with the kamikaze attack staples (that disable the stapler). Did we just destroy a growing staple civilization? Upon further discussion it is revealed that the evolutionary sequence is actually paperclips to coathangers to bicyles.


Future Business

In the future all the prefrosh will be gone again.

Discussion of the beloved status of the Onseck.

[Malcolm] ``I have seen the Schultz.'' The nickname came from a talking beer mug in an old commercial. Jamie's mother was the matching mug, named Doolie. Fuzzy Pink was named around the same time. Discussion of the timelessness of the Society.

Motion: Request the Onseck to suggest an audiovisual aid for the future reading of the minutes (amendment) plus taste, smell, etc. Passes 9.5-1-1+Spehn.

Motion: Calibrate our multisensual devices against an iridium-plated standard banana. Passes 6-1-4+Spehn.

Meeting adjourned, 1800 SST.

Respectfully submitted,
Ed Keyes, Onseck