MIT Science Fiction Society

84 Massachusetts Avenue

Cambridge, MA 02139

MITSFS Meeting Minutes

Friday, May 4, 2001

MITSFS meeting called to order, 1700 SST, Jamie Morris, Chancellor and Pseudo-Skinner, presiding. Ed Keyes is the guest-lecturing Onseck.

Minutes read.

Motion: Approve the minutes as Gor-y. Passes two arms-no one-philosophical conundrum+Spehn.


Committee Reports

Pseudo-LHE: John both took and spent all our cash.

Motion: Warn the LHE that someone is taking her job. Not seconded.

Motion: Make a third motion. Not seconded.

Pseudo-Picniccomm: The invitation got sent out, after a ``trial run'' with a bad mail script. There are some problems with a hundred-person limit on the MIT mailer. We have a car for grocery shopping, but we still need people for it.

Mobcomm: I am lazy, but we still get more books.

Pseudo-Hasslecomm: They're two boxes and a shelf away from the ground state.

Motion: Collapse Hasslecomm's wave function. ``Passes without an actual punchline'' 5-1-3+Spehn.

Pseudo-Bluebellcomm: Bluebellcomm is falling behind again. There are lots of weird new books, because they say so. The obligatory ``I get weirder things free in my breakfast cereal'' quote is produced on cue.


Old Business

We have some ex-Skinners in the meeting, and email from even more of them, passing on news to us and congratulations to Jourcomm.

The Star Chamber met, but the contents of the meeting are a deep, dark secret. [Jamie] ``I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.'' [John] ``Can you just give me a hint and hurt me a little?''


New Business

Our two slinkies (the rainbow-colored one and its new heart-shaped girlfriend slinky) were apparently having sex, in violation of Skinner policies. The heart-shaped slinky is [Jamie] ``the perfect gift for someone who wants to make your heart go thump-thump-thump... down the stairs.''

There is a new donation from Sherrian Lea. There was also an anonymous donation of about a hundred books in really pristine condition.

The summer rates are now up. In the fall, the rates will inch up to $12/year, with a monthly discount for mid-term memberships. Now we have to hurt John, as a Star Chamber secret was revealed.

For the first time, Yevgeniya has rejected a submission to Jourcomm. Rather, it was rejected for being bad, as opposed to bad fanfic. [Jamie] ``Unfortunately she wrote `no' in the wrong place, and now is no longer marrying Aaron.''


Future Business

A hand-picked Star Chamber is ready for election.

Motion: Alter the procedure to tentacle-pick the Star Chamber instead. [Jamie] ``That's a slinky, not a tentacle.'' The motion fails no tentacles-several limbs-Cthulhu+Spehn.

We will transfer some funds around in the future.

In the future the LHE will be in France, embezzling funds in francs. Maybe she can pick up the 2200 Perry Rhodans from Germany. John will be in Acton.

Elections are in one week. We'll meet here, then migrate over to the Star Chamber, 5-216.

Motion: Note that in the distant future, someone will set fire to all the Perry Rhodans, thus ruining the atmosphere. Not seconded.

On that note, John heard that global warming will fix the hole in the ozone layer, by promoting more atmospheric mixing. [Ed] ``Strip mining prevents forest fires.'' John sprays an aerosol can to celebrate... ooh, lemony...

Motion: Polish the floor with a banana peel. The motion was lightly killed and covered in chocolate, 4-1-5+Spehn.

Motion: Pass a banana motion and split. Chickens 3-1-4+Spehn.

Motion: Combine that with an Albanian motion on Malcolm. Passes 3-2-3+Spehn. There follows a bad pun involving a wave-motion cannon, but no one but the anime fans get it.

Motion: Beat all the chickens in the room over the head with a banana. Passes 15-0-John+Spehn.

Meeting adjourned, 1740 SST.

Oops, we forgot the Jadecomm report.

Respectfully submitted,
Ed Keyes, Onseck