MITSFS meeting called to order, 1715 SST, Jade Wang, President and Skinner, presiding. Ed Keyes is the sniff-sniff-these-are-my-last-minutes Onseck.
Everyone moves over the 5-216, the Star Chamber.
John corrects the minutes from a week ago: it is squirrels who use their tails to hide themselves, not rabbits.
Motion: Laud the minutes to the heavens as being the proper end to the mighty saga of Ed. Passes 9-0-2+Spehn.
Pianocomm: We have food, a minivan reserved, and everything is proceeding according to plan. This makes us worried.
Pianocomm: Emily Warmann is a new keyholder, or will be when she reads the keyholder notes.
Mobcomm: We're not doing anything because we have no money.
Pseudo-LHE: Stephanie promised John the head of Laurie Ward, or our money. The outside bank account stuff sucks.
Alohalenscomm: We're stalking all the new keyholders, Susan is next on the list... where does she live? But watch out, since Susan has a lot of assassin reflexes.
Discussion of how radiation affects digital cameras.
[Jamie] ``First rule of space exploration: let the next guy know what killed you.''
hBarcomm: We need to make up a flyer for the summer mailing. Will grab someone to squeeze the creativity out of them. Jamie found a pile from 1986 with cool blue pictures for their summer mailing. [John] ``Hey, my father got this when he was a freshman!''
Good resonance on the bings due to the tables in 5-216.
Another alum sent us mail asking if we wanted a donation of magazines. F&SF and Galaxy will be useful to us.
John is appointed Pseudo-LHE, and moves up into the position of power next to Jade. Only one decimal place is allowed this year. Jamie explains the election rules. How does the ASA let us get away with this? If no one objects, it's all good.
Any volunteers for the post of Vanna? Emily is volunteered, and doesn't object strenuously enough to avoid the duty.
Election of the Onseck! The official candidate is Andrew Clough, which is pronounced like ``enough''. Other nominees are: the swarm of tissue-paper fish, Andrew's shirt, Andrew's other shirts (let them fight it out), and the hyperintelligent squirrel that was stalking John today.
Voting begins. Other votes were variously cast for: ``I guess that looks like Clough'', the trunk on many feet, impulsive fish, impressive frogs, Clef (that should have an upside-down phonetic `e'), the expectation value of Clough, Vanna, Fourier transform of tissue-paper fish, squeeee, snuff for kids, swarm of hyperintelligent tissue-papered squirrels, young visitor to Mars, squirrels rule, and Andrew Cl... Cl... whatever.
The Pseudo-LHE tallies the votes. [John] ``I'm curious to see what the total adds up to.'' There were 10.3 votes cast by 10 people according to John's math, and Andrew got 4.1 of them.
Second round of votes! Additional votes were cast for: swarms of toilet paper Cloughs, John's arithmetic, sounds like ``enough'', bow down to the squirrels, (the bass clef sign), Vanna's second underscore, what's-his-name, and Moose.
The Pseudo-LHE tallies again... 7.7 votes for Andrew, and Moose beat out Squirrel. [John] ``It adds up to 10. Who cheated?''
Next, the election of the LHE! The official candidate, not present, is Stephanie Fried. Other nominees include: she who is absent, that horrible buzzing sound, sidhe who is absent, Qwlghmian-Australian conspiracy, Bufferd, Bufford, Buffard, Aylee, Pete because he's evil, and Andrew again.
The voting begins. Additional votes were cast for: Qwlghm Vowel Donation Fund, she who isn't really absent but is just pretending to be, Hastur Hastur Hastur, please tickle Jade, Alan Greenspan, laser death rays of princes of Gor, Jade and her degree stripped washed and taken out to eat, that'll teach her to be absent, Squirrel, Vanna (what no underscores?), and Moose... with chocolate.
The votes are tallied. Meanwhile Jamie explains about Hastur. Actually ``Hastur'' is Babylonian for ``unspeakable'', and not his real unspeakable name. Steph wins with 5.5 votes, and Squirrel beat Moose this time.
The election of the Vice! The official candidate is Emily Warmann. Other nominees: the prettiest little underscore in Kansas (this was written by Vanna as the ``previous'' little underscore), the subsequent little underscore, Darth Vader, Darth Vanna, her hordes of loyal little underscores, the dark side of the underscore, Old Blue Eyes, Ross is missing sleep, Darth Sajak, the rebel planet Squirreline (home of Jabba the Nut), and the game of badminton.
Voting begins. Additional votes are cast for: oh Vanna my Vanna come corrupt the force with me, Vanna!, underscores of Gor, the devil you do, the devil you don't, the devil you did, Darth Vanna, underscores will rule the universe, ancient underscore conspiracy, and the missing sheep of the Ross ice shelf.
Votes are tallied, with Emily getting 5.7 votes, and 6.8 counting the underscores. Moose beat Squirrel.
The Presidential election! The official candidate is Edward Keyes, who is taking the minutes so is guaranteed to win in the eyes of history no matter what. Other nominees: this week's minutes, this week's hours, Boris and Natasha, the Moose Collective, overvoltage, no one (who is much overlooked), everything Ed rhymes with, the minions of underscore, and the One Bing.
Voting begins. Additional votes are cast for: Moose Collective rhymes with Ed doesn't it, this week's seconds, this week's thirds, belovED, Vanna , can I be one of your minions, the Illuminati, El Penguino Du Muerte, the evil overlord, All of the Above, the nice one, Ed is not a talking horse, Darth Wang the dark Jade-i, evil things done to squirrels with underscores, and Squirrel (with about a dozen underlines).
Votes are tallied... the LHE computes... results are... Vanna with 1.4 votes as the official second, and Ed wins with 5.8!
Any more new business?
Emily may be a famous artist, or a psychologist, as judged by her doodles on the scrap paper.
The adjournment song...
Meeting adjourned, 1830 SST.